Novel Publicity Tour: #TheHouseofOrder by John Paul Jaramillo

 

 

Ever wonder what some of your favorite characters might say in text messages to each other? With a little poetic license, let’s re-imagine a scene from The House of Order from chapter “Little Blue Box”:

Jefita: Relles? Relles! Ven acqui!

Relles: Si Jefita?

Jefita: Hijo, go down to Joe’s Grocery and get my little blue box.

Relles: {no response}

Jefita: Relles, are you listening??

Relles: Si, Jefita

Jefita: Don’t go to Marshall’s, just go to Joes’s.  Sabes?

Relles: …Why can’t you go?

Jefita: Hijo I’m frying calabacitas for Jefe’s lunch. Get going. :)

———

Neto: Why does Jefita need a little blue box?

Tevo: Cabron, it’s because she’s opening up and bleeding.

Relles: Shut up, Tevo. Go back home.

Tevo:  She puts them down in between her legs and keeps herself dry, cabron.

Relles: Shut up, Tevo.

Neto: What’s a blue box, Relles? Why does she put them down between her legs?

Relles: Shut up Neto.

Neto: No, I want to know.

Tevo: A woman bleeds because she’s got pains.  She flushes her eggs out once a month and bleeds.  Give me the box and I’ll show you.

Neto: What eggs? Flushes ‘em where? Down the toilet?

Relles: That’s enough, cabrones.  I don’t want to know about the Jefita’s eggs or her bleeding. Now shut up or I’ll tell the Jefe. smh

——————-

Jefita: THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?  Damn it, I give you one job and you can’t even do that. I can even count on you to do one thing for me porque chingando.

Relles: Lo siento, Jefita

Jefita: Oy lo! Sorry?  WHAT HAPPENED??

Relles:  I dropped it, mama.

—————–

Jefita: Your Jefe comes and goes. Your brother is all over the place. You’re the man when the Jefe’s gone. I rely on you.

Relles: Are you bleeding, mama?

Jefita: Who told you that?

Relles: Nobody

Jefita: These are for women

Relles: Yes, mama

Jefita: You dont need to know no more.

Relles:  {no response}

—————

Jefita: GO TO BED.

Relles: fml

———–

And now let’s imagine a few scenes from House of Order greeting cards.

From Little Blue Box

Uncoventional Librarian

 

Return to Cacaville

Unconventional Librarian

 

You’re next. Here’s the caption: As long as you’re working hard, you’re doing fine.

 

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Novel Publicity Blog Tour Notes:

Wanna win a $50 gift card or an autographed copy of The House of Order? Well, there are two ways to enter…

  1. Leave a comment on my blog. One random commenter during this tour will win a $50 gift card. For the full list of participating blogs, visit the official House of Order tour page.
  2. Enter the Rafflecopter contest! I’ve posted the contest form below, or you can enter on the official House of Order tour page–either way works just as well.

About the author: John Paul Jaramillo grew up in Southern Colorado but now lives, writes and teaches in Springfield, Illinois. He earned his MFA in creative writing (fiction) from Oregon State University and, currently, holds the position of Associate Professor of English in the Arts and Humanities Department of Lincoln Land Community College. Connect with John Paul on his website, Facebook, Twitter or GoodReads.

Get The House of Order on Amazon or Barnes & Noble.



a Rafflecopter giveaway

Introducing Pam

Pam is an educator librarian who is drawn to the little ones. In her purse you’ll find a cup of coffee, a book, and her iPhone. She loves social media, writing book reviews, and curating children’s literature. She is an information specialist, maven, connector, coffee drinker.

Comments

  1. Odd…not a book that would interest me, at least by this depiction.
    Cindy @MomMaven´s last blog post ..Disney Social Media Moms Blog Hop 2012

  2. This looks super interesting!

  3. Yeah, some books are not for everyone, but that’s ok too. thanks for visiting!

  4. Thanks so much for the post. I’m going to have to look in to House of Order greeting cards.

  5. Thanks so much for the post. I’ll have to look in to House of Order greeting cards.

  6. I have no idea if this book is ultra serious or hilarious, but *you’re* clearly hilarious.

    Because this performance and the book’s cover, I do believe it must go on my TBR list.

    A-Z @ Elizabeth Twist
    Elizabeth Twist´s last blog post ..Octopus, Octopodes, Octopuses

  7. thanks for the kind words, Elizabeth!

  8. at a Hallmark store near you.

  9. This does sound like an interesting book. I love your representation of it.
    Lindsay @ Laughing Lindsay´s last blog post ..Shoplet Roaring Spring Review

  10. THis sounds so great! Also – I LOVE your cards! :)
    Steph Anderson´s last blog post ..GummyLump: Melissa and Doug Review and Giveaway

  11. Haha I love this depiction.

  12. Had to laugh at the greeting card idea!

  13. OMG, you are so creative! Thank you for being awesome and hopping on this tour :-D

    Emlyn

  14. I”m so glad you like it Em!

  15. You should be a writer. You’re hilarious!
    ConnieFoggles´s last blog post ..Getting Ready to See Mickey Mouse #DisneySMMoms

  16. you’re too kind Connie, thanks!

  17. SO creative! I love it. Emboldens me as I shuffle out into the sun with the first and second episodes of Cherry Tale Fiction. I’ve got a lot of wacky ideas for the coming years of promotion and rolling out of “next episodes.”
    Keep it coming!
    Suzanna Stinnett
    Suzanna Stinnett´s last blog post ..Days of Earth

  18. I love reading your reviews. You are really hilarious!
    kelli´s last blog post ..Giveaway: Fish Foam Glass Cleaner